In Australia everything is always trying to kill you.

In particular, those big, wicked, big-toothed prehistoric predators affectionately known as ‘Salties’.

I did my time in the Northern Territory and the crocodiles up there are monstrous, but the really scary ones are the ones you don’t see.

Did you know that if you’re camping in the bush for more than a few days, you should randomly change your daily routines (swimming, walking, fetching water, urinating, etc.), because if an alligator sees you once, and decides play a deadly game of ‘tag’ with you, not only won’t they tell you you’re playing, they’ll happily watch you like a creepy weirdo for a few days to learn your moves… then SNAP!

It’s not even about that in this article anyway, it’s just weird! But the reason I mention it, is this:

Decades ago, as a young, reckless 20-something, I once woke up on the sandy bank of a river in the Daintree Rainforest in Far North Queensland. Or FFNQ for those in the know.

FFNQ is primetime man-eating crocodile country.

Through bleary eyes I looked up at a sign under which I had fallen asleep the night before, and for a moment I didn’t know where I was.

The large yellow triangular sign, bordered in black, read: “ACHTUNG!” Hungover as he was, he was still pretty sure he wasn’t in Germany, and yet there was the warning: “ACHTUNG!” and below a picture of a crocodile.

How did I get here was my first thought, then suddenly realized as I scanned the scene. How the hell were we all still alive? Were we all still here? Luckily we were, and when my other person calmed down, I got to thinking…

Why German? Because here?

The same goes for many UK power stations and substations.

Don’t ask me why I know this.

I guess when I was a kid I was really bored, but the signs of a person who has been struck by lightning always said ACHTUNG! Danger of death. Why German?

Opposite corners of the world, vastly different situations, why German over all other languages?

Honestly, I don’t know.

A cursory Google search speaks of tourism statistics, but I don’t think many German tourists visit power stations, and I’m sure Germans are no more likely to go and be eaten by crocodiles than the average British, American, or Chinese tourist. they make up a much larger percentage of travellers.

If you know, maybe you’re a canny linguist, feel free to reply and let me know.

Until then I have a theory.

1. Non-German people have a cultural awareness of certain German power words due to the whole world war thing and the stereotype perpetuated through cinema ever since. no! Achtung! Ich bin ein Berliner! So instead of trying to cover all languages, a clear warning in German is likely to ring the bells of imminent danger in many languages.

2. ACHTUNG! It’s obvious and easy to understand, while also being obtuse and different enough to command attention, a bit like Steve Buscemi.

3. It’s fun to say, rolls well on the tongue, and is phonetic, which means it’s also enjoyable to read.

Like I said, this is a working hypothesis, not a fact, but it ticks a lot of the boxes when it comes to writing a good headline, which is what a red flag is at a basic level.

• Use cultural references that the audience will instantly latch onto.
• Use powerful words that jump off the page and grab the reader’s attention.
• It has a sense of uniqueness that creates curiosity and a desire to keep reading.
• Use words or phrases that are pleasing to the eye or ear when reading.

These aren’t all the key elements of a great headline, but they are a few elements that can take an average headline and turn it into something that can literally save your life.

Going back to the crocodile story, obviously I survived. We all did. Which is surprising because it was completely dark when we arrived, and we were all drunk as skunks.

In terms of marketing:

We were the wrong audience, precisely at the wrong level of awareness for the headline/sign to have any effect, but that’s a story for another time.