This term is not often heard today, but in 1977 we heard it a lot. It was part of the lyrics to Billy Joel’s hit song “She’s Always a Woman to Me.” Search that song on the web to see all the lyrics. It’s still a great song today. The lyrics tell me about behaviors that I have encountered in women who have touched my life. What do you think Billy tells us when he says of the woman he sings about: “The most he will do is throw shadows at you”?

I have read some treatises on the meaning. One of them is that she stands out or sees herself as a rock star. She doesn’t see her man. You only get your shadow. My analysis: That one doesn’t work for me. Another is that she is a gloomy person, who casts her shadow on her man, to bring him down. My analysis: I don’t like that either. A third is that you want to hit your man at times, punching him in the air or punching shadows, with the intention of hurting his pride, self-esteem or ego, but not to maim him. My analysis: No. I don’t think so.

She does not give value or substance. Maybe. I can see that in her mind, she always falls short of what he expects her to be or what he thinks she could be. She is a shadow of perfection to him. Do you turn your back on you sometimes? Perhaps, but not in his hour of need. She may be a survivor, someone who has been hurt by men before, so now, she cannot or does not want to commit to a man; her man only receives his shadow. Worse still, he doesn’t know who he is. A shadow is the best thing to do. My analysis: She is not perfect, she is in a bad mood, sometimes stubborn, she does not like to be controlled, she will exercise control over her man, but she is his woman and she knows it.

So I’ve decided this song is about a woman who does know who she is, does know what she wants, but updates her wish list from time to time and hopes that her man will automatically update his ability to provide. In that, he disappoints her, but she doesn’t want him to ever see that she is disappointed or hurt. She will not reveal a vulnerability. Therefore, she casts shadows or confusion when she feels cornered. You don’t understand this behavior. But that’s the effect you want. She runs away from the corner, while he is confused, and continues to live her life as if nothing happened.