Two of the hardest things about being a parent headed for divorce or already divorced are: 1) When you get married, you think you have a loving partner, a best friend, and a soul mate to raise your family together. for the rest of your life. life… and then one day your dream is just gone; and 2) Realizing the potential lifelong emotional and psychological impact on their children, but not knowing what to do about it.

Did you sign up for the emotional pain of divorce? The frustration, the pain, the hurt, the anger, the anxiety, the loss of trust, the loss of a sense of family, the pain, the concern for your children?

Of course not! The emotional pain is overwhelming and crippling, and the impact on your children can be devastating.

Divorce is a difficult process, even if your separation is amicable.

One assumption that many people make when getting divorced is that their partner will actually be reasonable and they will be able to work together to avoid the financial and emotional impact on themselves, their children, and the entire family.

One of the most tragic ironies of divorce is that trust and integrity are often replaced by resentment, anger, anxiety, and spite. It is part of human nature to take revenge on someone who has hurt you.

The tragedy of this subconscious determination is that the main people you hurt are yourself and your children.

So how do you consciously change things to have a more beneficial impact?

Since the 1990s, divorce rates have increased at an alarming rate. Among adults age 50 and older, the divorce rate has doubled. (according to statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics and the US Census Bureau).

Why is the divorce rate skyrocketing?

I think the reasons are a combination of being conditioned during childhood, lack of awareness, and a tendency to be self-centered.

I’m not sure exactly when things started to change for me and my ex from the dream of being partners for life, but WOW, things changed…quickly and dramatically!

We began to be less and less together, communications became minimal. We stopped doing things for each other.

We scheduled a family trip with our 3 year old daughter, hoping that the situation would improve.

Returning home, we immediately fell into an even darker abyss. Not long after, the ex told me to move out of the house.

I was in complete shock! However, I was so fed up with how things were between us that I said “okay!”. I moved out, never to return “home”.

It took me by surprise when a few months later the ex told me that she hoped that I would fight for her, so that we would be together. I was shocked that she would play during such a challenging and difficult time for us and our daughter.

Reflecting back on this moment, I realized that not only did I not want to get back together, but I HAD NO IDEA how to navigate what would be a truly bumpy and rocky divorce road. Neither does the ex.

The day I made a commitment to STOP reacting with anger and stay calm no matter what, was the day things started to change.

I began to maintain more control over my own reactive emotions. Initially, I had no idea that by changing my behavior, the ex would change hers for months to come as a result.

We certainly weren’t perfect, but we definitely created a major improvement.

The most beneficial effect was on our almost 4 year old daughter, now 23 years old.

I am grateful to God, to my ex, and to myself that our daughter turned out so well despite the two of us. The lessons I learned from the endless challenges of our divorce situation have had a tremendous impact on my life.

For me, the change began when I realized that I did NOT want to continue down the same dark path and knew that I needed to gain Clarity for what I really wanted for my daughter.

This, in turn, prompted me to realize the importance of Forgiveness, first and foremost for myself. This helped me let go of the dark emotions that were consuming me and shift the energy towards my commitment to remain calm.

What can you do to learn to let go of dark emotions?

Learning from someone who has been where you are and not only survived, but thrived is the best way to save time, avoid additional pain and hurt, and discover how to create the change you really want for the good of your children.

My wife Laurie and I have been through the pain, agony, and challenges of divorce. We have worked with counselors and coaches, read books, journaled, deepened our faith, and done the work on our own.

We created The EX-Factor brand and philosophy for the sake of children of divorce…and for you as a parent.

Our sincere mission is to help loving parents like you learn how to let go of anger, frustration, regret, resentment…and heal the grievance…so that you can move forward based on the understanding that all what you say and do as a parent teaches and impacts your children. When you get Clarity about what you want for your children, you can make a plan to make it happen.

My book “Split Harmony: Turn The EX-Factor from Chaos to Compassion” led to our design and creation of the “Master Course in Creating Split Harmony”.

The course is an online video course that guides you step by step through four proven life-based principles to create a more harmonious divided environment between you and your ex for the sake of your children, the innocent victims of the divorce.

The master course Creating a harmonious division

Sign up now and feel the difference tomorrow!

(Go to the author’s resource box to access)

STOP the excruciating Emotional Pain!

STOP the financial drain on legal fees from divorce attorneys!

Go ahead and put your children first!

Let go and take control…of yourself and the underlying dynamic between you and your ex.

There is light at the end of the tunnel…

With sincere compassion,

Peter and Laurie Hobler
Our Mission: Help parents of divorced parents to create an environment of divided harmony for the good of their children.