“My wife says she regrets marrying me,” said the man totally and utterly confused about their relationship. There is no doubt that hearing your wife tell you that she wishes she had not married you is painful. It makes you question how long you’ve spent together since the wedding, you feel insecure about what’s on your horizon, and you may even wonder if you ever really met the woman you married. It is justified to feel all this and much more. His world, as he knew it, has been turned upside down. You may be tempted to hide and wish it would all go away, but that will accomplish nothing. Now is the time to face what is not working in your marriage and move forward with a plan to fix it before your wife decides that a divorce is really what she wants and needs.

Gain insight into what’s causing you to regret

You can’t really move towards healing your connection with your wife until you fully understand what is causing her to have feelings of regret. In some cases, it will be painfully obvious, as is the case when there is infidelity in the marriage or when the two of you are faced with a major conflict with no resolution in sight. In these types of situations, it is important to honestly discuss where the marriage is and if there is any chance that the two of you can overcome the problems that brought you to this place. For example, when a marriage is affected by adultery, it is common for the injured couple to repent. They wonder incessantly what they could have done differently and are forced to imagine their life without their adulterous partner.

The two of you should sit down together and discuss what has happened and what you both imagine the future will be. If you intend to save the relationship, compromise should be part of the equation for both of you.

If your wife’s regret is due to her general unhappiness with the marriage, that requires a different approach on your part. Some women simply reach a point in their relationship where they feel like they are not getting the attention, adoration, and recognition they deserve from their spouse.

Become a more caring and understanding partner

It’s so easy to get out of the way of being a good spouse when life throws a lot of curveballs in your direction. Your wife may be guilty of the same thing and you may not even realize that you don’t feel as close or emotionally connected to her as you used to. Many of us will subconsciously push our spouse to the bottom of our priority list. We do this because we feel secure in the relationship, but over time, when the bond is not nurtured, things can go astray, as is the case with your marriage now.

You do not have to undergo a complete review of who you are as a husband. You just need to try harder to be more emotionally available and more attentive to your wife’s needs. This has to come from a place of genuine desire. You should not do this if you are resentful of your wife and feel that you have to give more than she is willing to give.

Marriage is really a relationship that focuses on commitment and sometimes that means that things are not as balanced as they should be. If you take the initiative and become the most generous and loving partner, you will likely notice a strong and desirable change in your wife as well. Sometimes it’s about having the emotional courage to take the first step.

Make your wife your absolute number one priority

There is an undeniable satisfaction that comes from proving someone else wrong. It is simply part of our human nature to show that we are right and that whoever doubted us or our abilities is wrong. That is exactly what you need to do, right now, within your own marriage.

Even if your wife has expressed to you that she is very sorry for her decision to marry you, show her that you are wrong for feeling this way. You can do this by changing your priorities so that she is always at the top of the list.

Make your wife the most important person in your life, starting today. If you have to rearrange your work schedule to spend more time with your wife, do so. If you need to hire a caregiver to take care of your children one night a week so that you can spoil your wife with a dinner that you prepared, do so now. Show your wife that you are an even better husband than she thought you were when you were first married.

Actions will help her see that you mean it when you tell her that you love her and love her, so get down to business to prove it. If you can become the husband she knows she can trust in every way, those regrets she is experiencing now will soon be nothing more than distant and unimportant memories.