Some women, no matter what type, tend to push a man’s button at the beginning of a relationship. It usually leads to the constant question “What did I do wrong?” There are ways around this, and there are ways to get answers to questions from him without him even realizing that he’s opening up. Which is a topic in itself. I’m going to keep this as short and sweet as possible.

Here are ten mistakes women tend to make with their boyfriends at the beginning, or beginning of a relationship, that usually gets the breakup ball rolling. These are in no particular order, as they can vary in damage from each man. Just try to take note of them, and if you’re in the process of making one, take a step back and ask yourself if you might regret his actions later.

1. Ladies, men generally know that it is their “responsibility” to make the phone calls. They will call you if they want to talk to you. They will also return calls you have made, if they want to talk to you. Trust this, if he’s into you, he WILLPOWER call. If he doesn’t call, then get over it. You will only annoy him, and there is no going back from being annoying. This has never failed, and he never will. Unless they are extremely insecure, in which case why would you bother anyway? I know it’s hard to fight the urge, but it’s worth it in the end.
2. I know it’s tempting when you snuggle together to want to talk about your relationship and figure out where you stand in all this craziness. First of all, men are more action oriented when it comes to love, the fact that he is snuggling with you is his way of showing you that he cares about you. Don’t screw it up by trying to analyze things. You’ll find him slipping up and pulling that arm out from around your shoulders in a hurry. Talking about feelings makes everything too real for a man, and he will shut down. You might find a sensitive one here and there, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
3. Stop asking questions about his past girlfriends. A question or two about why they broke up is fine, you have a right to know if she tried to kill him. But too many questions about ex-girlfriends can lead to all sorts of problems, including reconciliation. You make him think of those good old days, and it could be her he calls tomorrow, instead of you.
4. Make it a habit to snap out of yourself if you find that you’ve been babbling over and over again. Most guys will listen for a while, but when you start talking about how you like to dress your cat for the fall season, you might want to show him Fluffy’s wardrobe instead of describing it for two hours.
5. Here’s an important one, at least in the beginning, never shed tears. If he saw a sad movie, he’ll find it endearing, but if you’re crying because he forgot to hold your hand or kiss you goodbye, you’re probably turning him off.
6. This is an oldie but a goodie. Don’t be so available. If he’s been out a few times, the next time he asks, tell him he has plans. He’s not going to stop asking you out because you have a life. Also, if he says that he’s going out with the guys, tell him how cute you think he is and that you hope they’ll break it up and have fun. You’ll earn points for this, and he’ll be thinking of you while he’s away. I guess you could say you’re putting a bit of reverse psychology to work here, but this is almost always a fail-safe tactic.
7. Okay ladies, let’s talk about Hallmark cards, greeting cards, and just about any card you can think of. (Handmade included) Unless it’s a birthday, in which case, you should get something fun and just sign his name, don’t give your guy cards with a novella written on them, or his latest poetry. . This also includes those long, stretched out letters. If you’re far away, one card is fine, but stay away from the heads-up type. Every man I know shudders at the thought of this. I know you want to open your heart, but it’s too much for a man to swallow when you’re just starting out. If he sends them to you, you can return them without worry. But, this is highly unlikely, I’m afraid.
8. Most men know that the “I forgot my (fill in the blank) at your house” tactic is a sham. Unless you’ve never had dealings with women, you know what you’re trying to do here. If he wants you to leave your things at his house, he’ll say, “Why don’t you leave some things here?” Otherwise this can really scare off some men. If it really is an accident, they’ll know it wasn’t serious. However, it’s a good idea to double check and make sure you have everything to prevent him from thinking you did it on purpose by mistake.
9. Unless I ask you to NO show up at work. This should be pretty self explanatory. It’s a bad idea on many levels.
10. And finally, don’t mention marriage and all your hopes for a big family. If he asks, trust that he’s not looking for all the dreams you had as a 12-year-old about your wedding day and the dress you designed. Don’t talk about what your children would look like and how you would raise them together to be good, caring citizens. If he starts this kind of conversation, then you can play along, but keep it fun, or he’s afraid he’s brought it up. Unless you’re a mail-order bride, going over your arrangements, this is something to avoid engaging in a conversation about.

These are common mistakes. They are done in many different ways, but almost always have the same negative result. The most important thing to remember is that men are different and they don’t move to the same beat as your drum. It’s always the best fit to not be like all the other girls who made him uncomfortable, and just let him have a good time. It will quickly open itself. The less you force it, the more it opens.