Procrastination is the longest four-letter word in the dictionary. We are all guilty of that from time to time. We set out to clean out the old inbox or clean out the garage and lo and behold, that 1970s TV miniseries starring Lee Majors and Rip Torn that we haven’t seen in years shows up on the subway. We are lost for the day. One thing finds its way to another, and pretty soon we’re knee-deep in popcorn and comfy pillows instead of clearing out the garage of stuffed animals and toys we salvaged from the 1950s. On the other hand, who You know, one can never be completely sure that Hula-Hoops and Slinky’s won’t be useful one day, can they?

The tendency to procrastinate is instilled in us at an early age. You can’t blame us for it. Like procrastination, Americans and Westerners in general have an excellent propensity for seeking and blaming. This is also instilled in us at a young age. The dog ate my homework. Need I say more? So who can we blame for teaching us to procrastinate and, well, blaming people for our shortcomings? The public school system, that’s who. You wouldn’t say the dog ate my homework anywhere else, would you? When all else fails, blame government-run agencies.

So how does the public school system teach us to procrastinate? With disgusting practices like homework, long-term projects (like the dreaded science project), and oh yeah, the universally hated final exam. Why postpone today what can still be postponed tomorrow? Because you can, that’s why. Basically, this is procrastination, putting aside priorities to do more urgent things, like watching cartoons, playing games and listening to music. School not only allows procrastination, but encourages the practice of procrastination.

How come you ask? Because by design, teachers and courses procrastinate for days, often months, and then reward you for rushing through. We are introduced to principles such as end-of-term exams, ‘long-term projects’ and ‘term grades’. All the things that seem far and far away. Even harmless, until, that is, the expiration date rolls around, sped up as if delivered via a time machine that only devious educators have the controls for.

One day you’re watching Spongebob Squarepants with 7 or 8 weeks until your science project is due. Your final exams are coming up and the next thing you know it’s midnight, and you’re tracing a human heart in the dictionary and copying down words like aorta that don’t make sense to you. You have to, so you can turn something the next morning into a science project to avoid getting a zero (even though your planned project was to create a working volcano with exploding lava). So what does all this flurry of activity get you? A C+ for grade, that is, because you at least delivered something and showed some effort. The effort in the school system is equal to the average. That’s why we have so many racing shoe salesmen and burger flippers in this world. And God knows we need designer shoes and cholesterol in a wrapper, right?

The next thing you realize after ‘completing’ your impromptu project is that you’re cramming because the exams you’ve ignored all year are upon you, and there’s no more putting off studying. Cramming means: “Forcing, pressing, or squeezing into insufficient space; things” or “Hastily studying for an upcoming exam…” Only in America would we use a term that means squeezing knowledge into a brain with insufficient space. when it comes to studying for a test. So you’ve been rewarded with an average grade for simply trying, at the last second, to put together something, anything to avoid getting punished for your science project. So how does this cramming thing work?

Well, while you’re taking your science test, you write down answers like aorta and pulmonary valve because they’re coming at you from places you don’t even recognize. Jam-packed flashbacks fill your mind with things like ‘Big Bang Theory’. Now, you’re pretty sure it’s a TV show or something, but isn’t that also a relevant scientific term? Before you know it, you’re getting a C on your final, even though you ignored it for most of term, down to the last second. That, along with your C+ from your science project, and all the A’s and B’s you received in your day job that you were forced to pay attention to every day (which make up 80% of your grade) give you a B. – on your report card. Not only do you save yourself from being punished by your parents, but they buy you a toy or give you $5 for getting a good grade.

This is how procrastination is instilled in us at a young age. It is also how we develop a dependence on caffeine and coffee. We need it to study for our exams. Even grade- and study-minded students (often referred to as nerds, another American oddity, to put down those who excel) get crammed at the last possible moment, because we forget most of what isn’t relevant to us on a daily basis. . If the school system wanted to punish procrastination, they’d give final exams once a week, so you could bury and forget all that useless knowledge you’ll never need in life, like the Big Bang theory and math. That’s what computers and documentaries are for, to make accounts and remind us of irrelevant facts.

Most students hate exams. It’s also why most people in Western civilization learn to procrastinate as a defense mechanism, and it’s why we as a people believe that a little effort means average and equality, which explains the popularity of reality shows these days. Since we encourage ourselves to put off as much as we can until the last second, when the world around us explodes and forces us to concentrate making us do too much in too little time. Simply put, procrastination is the foundation on which all civilized society is built. We accept the mediocrity of others because surely one day, sooner or later, we will find out; We’re going to put something off until the last second. It is the American style. Now, if you don’t mind, there’s this amazing black and white movie on TV that I haven’t seen in years. I have to go see it! So here’s a prayer I wrote, for every student who has ever attended school and any adult who has an important report for the first day after a weekend or long vacation.

A student’s prayer

Every time I have to study,

I pray to the Lord that I don’t go crazy

A computer can help me learn this crap,

But will it help me so that I don’t fail?

There is so much to do,

And so much for Cram

Oh! There’s mom and dad watching

I better pass that exam…

There is no sympathy or pity for me at all…

There’s nowhere to go but for study hall…

So dear Lord, please help me pass the exam tomorrow,

So mom and dad stop nagging and I can finally rest…

Amen!