In a castle high in the Piedmont hills, an auction is taking place. In the auction room, a medieval venue more suitable for a gathering of knights round table, three satellite links have been established, with Milan, Berlin and Hong Kong. Beautiful and slightly absurd Italian girls with lots of cleavage, wet lips and very, very high heels stand next to the auctioneer offering ‘un bacio’ – ‘a kiss’ as a bonus to a potential bidder. As the value of the item being offered increases, so does the nature of the kiss. I am wandering out of the room when a woman with abnormally thin arms and abnormally large breasts offers him “un bacio sulla bocca” “a kiss on the lips”, and it is certainly he who offers 10,000 euros for the item in question. offer.

All is quiet outside the auction room. The earlier thrill of the ‘mini canopy’ that greeted us – a row of knights from Alice in Wonderland, bugles held high against the stunning background of a Piedmont autumn and distant, snow-capped Alps has now been replaced by the affable and slightly tense tender in that hot, crowded baronial hall.

But, sitting on a red velvet cushion, alone in a back room, she is the object of all this desire. I walk into the room and look down. There is no one in sight. I could reach out and take the gnarled, gnarled, slimy white truffle, because that’s what it is, and put it in my pocket.

This is the annual international white truffle auction, which takes place at the Castello di Grinzane in Piedmont. I have come to Piedmont to discover the white truffle. For 3 days I have eaten truffles with every meal. I like them but, for me, the biggest discovery when coming to Piedmont is Piedmont. Why do we still go so religiously to Tuscany? The gentle rolling hills of Piedmont (and they have many lovely hill towns that match Tuscany and Umbria) have a very, very big feature that Tuscany can only dream of. Beyond the hills and towns float the Alps, gleaming white in the slanting light of the autumn sun.

And, if the mountains do not convince you, a town with as much charm as Alba, surely will.

But let’s get back to those truffles and, by the way, I’m still alone with the winning specimen. It will later be bought for 143,000 euros by a Hong Kong restaurateur.

White truffles, I have learned, should never be cooked. They are grated and added to other dishes. They don’t work well with dramatic dishes. Simplicity is the key. Adding them to eggs is supposed to be one of the best delicacies. Frankly, I found it a bit bland. And, adding Parmesan cheese for a kick of flavor is frowned upon.

I spent a wonderful afternoon at another castello in the Piedmont hills in the company of a truffle connoisseur. His nose is trained in the manner of a ‘nez’ perfumer or wine connoisseur. He looks for a combined aroma of hay, honey and garlic.

Before I came across the truffle ‘nose’ I spent a morning with a couple of truffle hunters. His dogs are muzzled “to protect them from possible poisoning by spoilers.” The hunters take me through a birch forest, the dogs dig up a couple of small specimens. But this is a farce. The real truffle hunting is done at night and in secret. The bounty is too valuable to be hunted in broad daylight.

Dogs are not forgotten at the auction. Every time a truffle is paraded across the stage on its cushion, the name of the dog that found it is announced. Pluto, you found that 10,000 euro specimen, by the way. But the name of his master is kept secret.