A nasty little story that your exterminator will never tell you because they just don’t know or are afraid to tell you.

Cockroaches have been around for millions of years (or, if you don’t believe the theory of evolution, around 6,000 years). Either way, they’re here and that’s a fact.

There are many different species of cockroaches and they are found almost everywhere. Some species of cockroaches live outdoors in forests and fields and usually don’t end up inside our houses… but others really like our houses and those are the ones I want you to think about now.

It’s funny how we are so in denial about cockroaches. It is true. In Florida, for example, they are called “Palmetto Bugs”. That sounds a lot better and cleaner than a cockroach, doesn’t it? How many times have I heard someone say, “I saw one of those big, ugly brown bugs… you know… the kind that fly… the… well, you know, like those Palmetto Bugs, the Florida ones.”

“It would be a smoky brown cockroach, Mrs. Smith. Periplaneta sooty.”

“Oh no…it wasn’t a cockroach…it was one of those big brown ones…you know…like those…”

“Face it Mrs. Smith…it’s a cockroach Face it!”

The fact is… Cockroaches are found in EVERY home! That’s how it is. Cockroaches are in EVERY home. Maybe not all the time, and certainly some houses have more than others, but, if you live in a house in the southeastern United States, YOU HAVE COCKROACHES IN YOUR HOUSE FROM TIME TO TIME! You may not see them, but they are there nonetheless, hiding in cracks and crevices, in the attic, basement or cellar, garage or covered porch, in wall voids, in gutters, behind the fireplace, under the dishwasher, in the pantry, or one or more than a hundred other places. Yes… you have cockroaches, whether you like it or not. Don’t worry… I won’t tell your neighbors. (They also have them, you know!).

FACT: Cockroaches need food and water, so when they get in, they’re more likely to end up in the kitchen than any other room in the house.

FACT: Cockroaches enter homes through cracks and crevices in most cases, although the German cockroach…which is a major problem in restaurants and grocery stores, usually makes its way into your home from another place. They don’t live in the woods… just in places where people live.

FACT: Cockroaches, like the large smoky brown roach or “Palmetto bug,” live in the woods, in the mulch, and in the ivy that grows around your home. (By the way, you won’t like to hear this, but that beautiful ivy growing up the side of your house is a virtual COCKROACH FACTORY!). They enter homes through gaps around doorways, window frames, pipes, vents, cracks, shutters, and eaves. The ONLY WAY TO KEEP THEM OUT is to weather strip, caulk and seal all areas where they can get in!

“Why my house?”

Good question. It has lights on at night and that attracts a lot of insects to the windows and doors. Try leaving a porch light on at night and go outside and see how many bugs you count. Pretty impressive. In fact, there is light coming out from under the door from inside and that light also attracts them. And then they feel the warm temperature of the air that comes out from under the door and that also attracts them. Bam… they’re in!

MYTH: If you see one cockroach, you have ten. If you see ten, you have a hundred. No. It could be just one.

So… you understand why you have cockroaches in your house from time to time… right?

Now let’s take a look at what happens when that cockroach gets into your house and how you survive. Let’s follow him… to the kitchen!

The typical smoky brown cockroach (the really big, ugly, dark brown ones we like to call Palmetto bugs) like the kitchen because there’s plenty of food and water there.

“But I keep my food in containers and I keep my floors and countertops clean. I’m a clean person. My kitchen is clean. No roaches would find food in there. I’m a clean person and a neat housekeeper. Please… You’re me!” insulting and I don’t like it one bit!”

OK Don’t worry… I’ll explain it this way. In fact, it would probably be better for me to put it in list form for you, but I like to tell stories, so here’s one for you. After reading it, you will tell me if a cockroach could survive in YOUR kitchen!

There is a big nasty looking cockroach. We’ll just call it “Smokey.” He has entered your house through the hole under the patio door. You have decided to install yourself under your dishwasher because it is hot from the heat generated by the motor when it is running and there is moisture from condensation. Dark, wet, warm… ah, the good life. What a great place to spend a vacation if you are a cockroach!

The first night, Smokey decides to visit all the restaurants…you know…find all the good places to eat so he doesn’t have to waste a lot of time every night going from one place to another. He wants to be able to focus on more important things, like finding that cute little female he ran into a couple of nights ago at the gas grill.

Smokey loves the nightlife, so as soon as all the lights go out and you’ve gone to bed and everything is quiet, he’s off to the races!

By the way… did you know that more than 42 types of bacteria have been identified on the legs of cockroaches, including germs that cause serious diseases such as Salmonellosis, Gastroenteritis, Dysentery and Poliomyelitis? Airborne contaminants from your feces (poop) can also trigger respiratory symptoms, including asthma attacks in sensitive people. Certainly not all types in all cockroaches, but enough to say honestly that wherever a cockroach travels it leaves behind a trail of bacteria with every step. The types of bacteria vary depending on where the cockroach has recently walked. It also picks up new bacteria and carries it from one place to another on the bottom of its feet, just like you and I would carry mud into the house. He walks through dog and cat droppings because he loves the little treats he finds there. It lives under the dishwasher or around the pipes under the kitchen sink or refrigerator and years of scum and food scraps and mold and grime have built up there and it’s a seething mass of bacteria and germs and who knows what other kinds of contamination… and all that garbage is on Smokey’s feet and he tracks it wherever he goes! Are you with me until now?

While you sleep at night, Smokey is on the go. He is hungry, so he visits the buffet that you have unknowingly provided for him.

First, it stops at the toaster. It goes inside the toaster and licks the crumbs off the wire rack and the basket that holds the bread when you make toast! However, it doesn’t take long before he gets tired of the toast. It’s crawled all over the toaster and it all tastes the same, so keep going. (Did I mention the bacteria on your feet?)

He then heads for the can opener on the counter. Oh yeah… here’s a real variety of exotic foods, all mixed together in a gooey way on the little round blade that cuts through the can and goes around the rim as it spins. Every time you open another can, you not only pick up more food from that can, but you deposit the dirt and bacteria already present in the can you just opened! Sure…I know you wash it off, but you can’t get into all those hard to reach places…not like Smokey can! No sir. Smokey can lick the crap off the can opener wheel when you didn’t even know he had crap. In fact, he crawls all over the can opener until he’s licked up every last bite. Oh, never mind if you use one of those little manual can openers and leave it in the drawer, because that’s his next stop!

The kitchen drawers do not have lids. They are simply a tray that slides on a rail back into the cabinet. All Smokey (or a mouse or a rat) has to do is crawl over it and into the crate. Now you may be wondering…why would a big, nasty cockroach want to stop in the drawer where I keep my cutlery and cookware? The answer is really very simple. Those things are not as clean as you think they are. No. There are food residues on your spoons, forks, knives and other utensils that you haven’t even noticed. Not all of them, but some of them…and Smokey knows he’s there. You see, he has a very sensitive nose. He can detect things that you and I can’t. I guess that’s one of the reasons he’s been around for so long. Anyway, he crawls through everything in the drawer, and while he can’t find anything good to lick, he’s left footprints on the spoon you’ll be using tomorrow morning to eat your cereal or stir your coffee!

Oh… I guess I forgot to mention… Smokey “poops” a lot too. Wherever he goes, he “goes”… if you know what I mean. And now he has pooped inside your toaster, all over your can opener, and all over the inside of your cutlery drawer.

Of course, he’ll eventually visit the cabinet where you keep your pots, pans, cookie sheets, bowls, plates, cups, and glasses, and before the night is over, he may end up taking a break from his wandering around and resting for a while. on top of a can of Chicken Noodle Soup or taking a little nap on the surface of your everyday dishes.

Eventually, the long night comes to an end, and on his way back to his hiding place under the dishwasher, a weary Smokey makes one last stop to crawl over your apples, bananas, or whatever else you might have worth nibbling on or eating. to eat. two.

One thing is for sure… Smokey is not a picky eater. (Though he really likes the cheesy residue found on his little boy’s pacifier) ​​But then again, that thing is never lying around at night, is it?

Oh… I almost forgot to mention your gas grill on the patio or deck. Smokey loves the grease and leftover food on the grill’s cooking surface. He and all his friends like to hide in the back of the grill and at night when you’re not grilling they come and spend the night partying and feasting on the exact spot where you just slapped that big sirloin steak. Last weekend. If you have one of those vinyl grill covers on it, that’s even better. In fact, many times I have lifted one of those covers and seen dozens of cockroaches running in all directions. When those people invite me to a cookout, I always make it a point to bring a saucepan for myself!

So…the next time you see a “Palmetto Bug” on your porch or patio, or find one on your kitchen floor and don’t think it’s something to worry about, just remember this…don’t . It always ends up in the kitchen. No. Sometimes they end up in the bathroom. After all…they love the taste of toothpaste residue on their toothbrush and around the edges of the toothpaste tube cap!

and that’s a fact

PS: If Smokey actually turns out to be “Smolina”, he can produce up to 300 offspring over the next 6 months to a year… all in his kitchen. Think about it!