Here’s a strategy to help kids work through disagreements that don’t require resolution or processing. From its 2,000-year roots in China, Rock Paper Scissors It came to be played all over the world in the 20th century. Also called roshambo, This sleight of hand game uses gestures to help kids decide who goes first, picks, or “wins.”

On the count of three, players stretch out their hand in a fist (Rock), flat (Paper), or pointing with two fingers (Scissors). Scissors cut paper; the paper covers the rock; rock ‘crushes’ scissors. Roshambo wonderfully depersonalizes and removes all kinds of conflict. It’s a random draw, a fun game that doesn’t require yelling or yelling.

My son-in-law, Dave, teaches at an elementary school. His school, which hired recess coaches from a company called Playworks, was featured in a PBS News Hour segment titled: At School Recess: New Focus on Playing Well.

Armed with balls, cones, jump ropes and enthusiasm, the coaches take to the blacktop or hardwood at every recess, harnessing the incredible teaching and learning opportunities inherent in recess and providing healthy, inclusive play that gets kids out of the box. banking and engages them in the action. “Junior coaches” pay attention to how children play. Whenever there is a conflict of “Yes, I am”, “No, you are not”, they intervene and ask: “Roshambo…?” “Well Roshambo!”

“Things have changed,” says Master Dave. “The playground is not a place where children mill about looking for trouble, but a place where children can relax, recreate, play, have fun. Now, when teachers are assigned tasks in the garden, they do not flinch in anticipation of ending the confrontations. The school’s principal, Alanna Lim, states: “We haven’t had a fight all year!”

Elementary school principals overwhelmingly believe that recess has a positive impact not only on the development of students’ social skills, but also on classroom performance and learning. In fact, research links more recess with better behavior and focus in the classroom. (Robert Wood Johnson Foundation)

If you didn’t learn Roshambo as a child, learn it now and teach it to others. The more tools we have to prevent and deal with disputes, the more harmonious and peaceful our lives can be.