So, you buckled up and bought your girlfriend that engagement ring that she’s been pestering you with since your seventh date. Of course, back then, she was more subtle: so you see us being together and then you want to get married?

Now, however, after six years of their relationship, she wasn’t all sweet and light about her long wait to become Mrs. You. In that moment, she had chosen the ring, she had called you fiancé to everyone she could and complained incessantly about her biological clock and that her mother was right about all the cow and free milk things that she used to despise.

Congratulations! You’re engaged!

Luckily, you are the boyfriend. Have you noticed how easy this whole wedding thing is – in the blink of an eye, actually – since you realized that, Hey, I’m a guy! If your girl is the traditional girlfriend, and most of them are pretty traditional when it comes to realizing that Barbie moment once and for all, you have pretty much nothing to do.

That doesn’t mean you won’t be asked to make a decision. Or many. You’ll see everything from cakes to tablecloths to flowers, and Your Pookie will require a response from you.

The best way to get the correct answer is to say, “So, what are you picturing here? Hmmm… which cake best conveys that idea? What do you think?”

Whatever their thoughts, echo them. Tell her often that her good taste was part of what drew you to her in the first place, and that you really do place your trust in these matters in her slender, capable hands.

That’s something off your plate.

You also have to choose the wedding ring. In the old days, a guy would pick out a ring (engagement and wedding, or the ubiquitous bridal set) and the girl would say yes or no, and that was it. The woman is now more involved in the entire selection process, but she is still up to you to foot the bill. And really, if you can’t pay the bill, it’s highly unlikely that you should get married.

That doesn’t mean it’s not okay to tell your sweetheart that she can afford this set of rings here and none there. You can be subtle, having the rings ready to present to her, if she’s not a gold digger looking for a rock the size of her original breasts. God forbid he’s looking for one the size of the new ones!

If she is a gold digger and you are not in a position to finance her whims, you must do two things. First, she always knows the name of a good divorce lawyer, because it’s not going to last. If she marries for money and you don’t have money, you’re just a train station on the way to the Promised Land.

Second, you need to bribe the jeweler. Tell her to say that only strippers wear stones that size, and society ladies always opt for a smaller, quality, tasteful stone. Most gold diggers are also aspiring social climbers, and this will allow you to spend your money the way you want without having to listen to pouting and crying for the rest of your engagement.

Your parents are expected to host the rehearsal dinner, but if you’ve been working for more than two years, they may expect you to pay the cost. Really good restaurants often have affordable menus for large parties and very nice private rooms. Consider that option, because it will be cheaper in the long run than a hotel with its really high service and beverage costs or a place where you have to bring in a caterer and rent tables, chairs, plates, and the jobs. If you choose a modern and stylish place, the only thing you will have to do for the decoration is to buy your fiancée a nice wedding gift, and you have to do it anyway.

Another departure requirement of the groom is the honeymoon. This can be big or small, depending on your circumstances and your work schedules. You can go and indulge in luxury at the best hotels in Europe or you can go to Pocono’s and have a private party in a heart-shaped jacuzzi or one shaped like one of those champagne flutes on a saucer. Be sure to include Your Darling in the planning, or you’ll be pouting and ranting, and she’ll also buy all the wrong clothes for her long-awaited and long-planned honeymoon.

Lastly, it is your job to buy gifts for your groomsmen. Traditionally, these gifts have ranged from silver hip flasks (which could lead to DUI arrests), fine handkerchiefs with embroidered initials (snot receptacles), silver or leather boxes (confiscated by the ex-wife or ex-girlfriend during the upcoming breakup), tie clips (out of style since about 1978), silver pens (they ran out of ink and then sat in a drawer for 45 years), and cufflinks.

Cufflinks for groomsmen are like earrings or bracelets for bridesmaids: the perfect gift. It gives you partial control over their accessories for the day (you’ve already told them what to wear on most of their other body parts) and classifies the whole place, whether it’s the downtown cathedral or the chapel on the Strip. Traditionally, cufflinks have been engraved with the wedding date and the initials of the bride and groom.

I have to say that I hate this tradition. To me, it’s the equivalent of making each groomsman a T-shirt that says I Was Bob and Jill’s Godfather. In other words, something that no one will ever use again.

It is not necessary to print your initials and the wedding date on a gift for someone else. You don’t do that for other gift-giving opportunities, and really, a gift isn’t about you: it’s about your appreciation for all they’ve done for you and a show of your high regard for them. They will remember that you gave them the gift and they will know the reason for the gift. They’re not monkeys, dammit.

With that in mind, consider purchasing cufflinks with each groomsmen’s initials engraved on them. The groomsman can wear these engraved cufflinks for any number of special events, after wearing them at his nuptials, of course. They will be perfect for work or for weddings, for the baptism of your children and to testify in your unlikely divorce trial.

In other words, they will be an investment gift.

Other cufflink options include silk knots or enamel cufflinks in your wedding colors. Paired with a tie in the same shades (which should also be your gift), this is another gift that can be used over and over again. At the very least, the groomsman will be grateful not to have to choose a beautiful tie himself.

Lastly, if you really want to personalize your gift, choose a variety of cufflinks that capture the individuality of each groomsman. This could be with a selection of styles related to professions, hobbies or preferred university. After all, even at the wedding, your guests will only see their very stylish and satisfied groomsmen standing next to the downright terrible bridesmaid dresses, and the differences in the cufflinks will be a pleasant little surprise, a classy touch. , as if , and not your New Wife, had been the one with Good Taste all along.