Male chastity is one of the most common perversions or fetishes, but probably the most misunderstood. I say “common” because every month there are (literally) hundreds of thousands of searches just for this and other related topics; and I say “misunderstood” because the results of those searches usually mean that the average searcher ends up even less informed than they were to begin with.

Because?

Because pretty much everything you’ve read about male chastity is completely wrong, misrepresented, and even simple. fixed up by men who are living out their fantasy through a computer screen.

While there are no doubt many definitions of what male chastity is supposed to be, here is the one I use: when a man consensually You surrender control of your orgasm to your partner.

In other words, you want your partner to decide when, how, where, and even Yeah reaches orgasm, either when they are enjoying physical intimacy together or when alone.

Orgasm denial is then ‘forced’ by the man wearing a chastity device or belt and handing over the key to his partner. These devices can cost anywhere from $100 to $1500 and up. It is serious business and men and women take it very seriously.

And that, in a nutshell, is all it is.

There are some things that are important to understand.

First, male chastity is not the same as celibacy.

In fact, there’s probably nothing worse for a man who yearns for male chastity to be “locked and dumped” or ignored. The dynamics of male chastity mean that practitioners generally enjoy further sexual intimacy no less. Most men want to be teased to the point of orgasm…and then denied that last crucial step. I don’t completely understand but I know it’s true and I know the incredible pleasure and benefits it brings (my husband, John, recently completed a full year of orgasm denial with frequent teasing and denial sessions).

At the root of this is the common misconception that male chastity is a cure-all, a panacea for broken relationships.

It’s not. While it’s true that male chastity and orgasm denial tend to bring couples closer, they only work when the relationship is fundamentally sound. If the thought of touching you gives your partner goosebumps, then while locking your penis away from the world may seem like the answer to all prayers, it’s really just a bomb waiting to go off.

The second thing to understand is that male chastity is not the same as male submission (you’ll even read accounts of men being “forced” into chastity against their will – for many reasons, all of them obvious to anyone prepared). to think about them). , these stories are all related).

These are common misrepresentations and gleefully perpetuated by a host of blogs, forums, and other discussion groups where the main goal seems to be to insult, demean, and humiliate men.

There’s nothing wrong with this if it’s what the poor guys really want, but in my experience, very few men actually do it; or, at least, there’s a very sizable proportion of men who crave male chastity who don’t want all the D&S stuff that a lot of people pretend it has to go along with.

Many female-led relationships include male chastity as an element of a woman’s control over her man, but the reverse is not necessarily true.

My own relationship with my husband, John, for example, is run by men, which is how we both like it. We run our own consulting business and John is definitely the one in charge.

Furthermore, he is a strong and assertive masculine type and a far cry from the submissive or “sissy” type commonly associated with male chastity. The only ‘control’ I have over him is that I decide when and if he orgasms. It’s just a game and if I didn’t want to play it, it’s big and strong enough to do for.

And we’re not rare or exceptional: I get hundreds of emails a week from readers who see it the same way. This is sometimes called “vanilla chastity” and it’s a lot more common than you might think, though it’s also true that my audience is a bit self-selecting.

Male chastity is really nothing more than glorified teasing: a game that plays out over weeks, months, and maybe years instead of being confined to the bedroom.

It’s a serious game, to be sure, but that’s not to say it can’t be fun, too. It really is just a matter of finding out.