We all know that adults with Asperger’s syndrome are often not very sociable … and this may be true despite years of therapy and treatment to improve social skills. But is your child at risk of becoming a recluse?

There are many teens and adults with Asperger’s who hardly ever leave home for any reason. They can spend a lot of time on the computer, play video games, or just watch television. This is usually the result of an intense amount of social anxiety.

Social anxiety

Several members of a message board about Asperger syndrome said they were afraid of running into people they knew or people from high school. And the fear of unexpected social situations creates so much panic and anxiety that these young adults prefer to avoid people altogether.

They have no confidence in their social skills and are so anxious about meeting other people and having to talk to them that they cannot even bear the thought of leaving their home, where they feel safe. What will they say if they meet someone?

So what can you do to reduce your child’s lonely behaviors?

1. Try to identify the root cause of the behavior. What is your child afraid of from the outside world? What would ease your anxiety? Since social anxiety is often a cause, you may want to try out common interactions your child might have with other people in the outside world. Antidepressant medications can help decrease anxiety, as well as therapy, if you can get your child to leave.
2. Daily family dinners. If you haven’t already done so, implement daily family dinners so your family can have a chance to communicate with each other and foster a sense of connection. Plus, being able to talk informally in a safe environment allows your Asperger’s loved one to practice the back and forth of social interaction … and learn how to just carry on a conversation.
3. Regular planning of discreet family outings. Go to a restaurant, to the cinema, to walk through a nature reserve. Try not to make it too overwhelming; you must take into account your child’s sensory problems.
4. Have them accompany you when you run errands if possible; if you have to bribe them with offers to buy them something small if they come out, so be it. You want them to get used to it and feel more comfortable going out in public … and dealing with people they may know.

The older your child, obviously, the more difficult this will be, especially for adult children. The truth is, when the going gets tough, there isn’t much you can do to make your child less lonely. This has to be a choice that he or she makes on their own. (And some adults with Asperger’s report that they outgrow it after a certain period of time.)

The important thing is to try to maintain connections with your child, so that he knows that he always has someone to turn to. Prisoner behavior is not always bad; all that time spent on the computer could be your child socializing online, in their own way. If your needs are met, this is not necessarily a problem. But if you are concerned about your child with Asperger becoming a recluse, the tips mentioned above can help you get through it.