Over the last two decades, all forms of child abuse, including sexual abuse and incest, have received wide recognition. As a result, many women who were sexually abused as children have come forward to express their experiences of abuse; thus breaking the “conspiracy of silence”. Incest is no longer in the closet, family secrets, or the horror story that happened to someone else, they are now aired in the public arena.

It is conservatively estimated that 40 percent of American women and 20 percent of men have experienced some form of childhood sexual trauma. Other studies have suggested that as many as 180,000 women per million in the United States may have been incestuously abused before the age of 18; and as many as 45,000 per million may have been incestuously exploited by their own parents. As survivors continue to come forward and reveal their incestuous experiences, these statistics, especially for men, will steadily increase.

Incest and child sexual abuse have become so pervasive that many mental health professionals assess it as a major social problem. The importance of actual trauma in the development of psychopathology is increasingly recognized. The most damaging real trauma is incest; the sexual exploitation of a child by a family member who is in the role of parent, or in a relationship vested with significant intimacy and authority.

Child sexual abuse refers to any sexual activity between an adult and a child; It doesn’t matter if the activity involves actual contact or not. All sexual activity between an adult and a child is abusive because it is not consensual, even when the child appears to be a willing or enthusiastic participant. This type of sexual activity threatens the life of the child because children have neither the necessary experience nor the power required to give their consent. Incest, on the other hand, refers to all sexual activity between family members, whether abusive or non-abusive.

Incest survivors often experience problems with closeness and intimacy. Often sexual activity, and sometimes non-sexual activity, can produce feelings of anxiety, rage, anger, or numbness. Survivors often reject sex or may be very promiscuous. Intimacy and a close relationship with a parent, a friend, or even a therapist can evoke a feeling that sex will happen. Inappropriate desires to have sex with people who hurt you are common among adult survivors of childhood incest, as is the expectation that they will take advantage of you.

The feeling of utter helplessness and hopelessness is often the most devastating factor in these young survivors of sexual abuse. When a child is violated by those considered protectors, it destroys the belief that the world is safe, that things can be worked out, and that life is, in fact, manageable. For many survivors, the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness leads to unconscious attempts to control everything and everyone in their immediate environment. Others may react by relinquishing control altogether.

Finally, if you are a survivor or if you know someone who survived the trauma of incest or childhood sexual abuse; It’s not too late to seek professional help and encourage them to do the same. Do not blame yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong; something bad was done to you and you had no control or power to prevent it.