With the divorce rate rising, many people are concerned about saving their marriage. It is not unusual to find people who have opted out of marriage and simply decided to cohabit because they fear that getting married will only make them vulnerable to divorce. Being married, these questions have troubled me greatly, but I was determined to find a way to divorce my marriage. Below are some tips to do so.

1. Communication is key: Say exactly what’s on your mind and don’t let others guess. It’s better to tell someone exactly what you want them to know, rather than assuming that she knows it and that even applies to sex. Also take time into account. Give them some time to eat and rest after a tiring day at work before bringing up any problems. It’s usually best not to talk about problems after 9 p.m.

2. Be quick to apologize whether you’re right or wrong. Being at peace and in harmony is more important than being right.

3. Put your spouse’s interests before your own. Do to others what you would like them to do to you. For example, make meals first to please them. Cook how they like and what they like Not necessarily how you like it. Even if it means cooking two meals, it’s worth the effort to keep your marriage going.

4. Create memories together. Find common interests and spend some time on them weekly. Maybe a weekly dinner or going to the movies just the two of you. Just find time to be alone together at least once a week to keep the flame burning.

5. Do your best to stay attractive, whether at home or on the go. To be clean, well dressed and well groomed. Remember what attracted you to the other in the first place and keep it up. Many people make the mistake of neglecting their appearance after marriage. That’s one big marriage killer.

6. Be committed to your marriage. A good marriage takes time and hard work. Don’t make excuses to give up on your marriage, and don’t use children as an excuse to avoid your spouse. Also avoid using the D word (divorce) as a threat every time something goes wrong.

7. Read books on marriage and consult marriage counselors if necessary, but remember that no amount of advice or information you get will help unless you are completely determined to make your marriage successful by making it a priority.

8. Avoid nagging. Nobody likes a spouse who exasperates them. Say something once or twice and leave it at that.

9. Esteem each other above yourselves. Give your spouse compliments both in public and in private. Men should open the doors for their spouses and bring the chairs closer to them. Speak well of each other and never argue in front of the children.

10. If you want to be really bold, let lovemaking be more about pleasing your spouse than getting pleasure for yourself. You’ll be surprised at the satisfaction you get from working hard to please your spouse.

This is not an exhaustive list of tips to save your marriage, but they have worked well for mine and are a good starting point. They are useful not only for married couples but for anyone in a love relationship.