I recently joined a gym in Spain. I call it a gym but by UK standards it’s more of a leisure centre. In fact, when you walk through the double doors, if it weren’t for the sun blazing through the glass, you could easily be back in the UK. The gym itself is packed with the same equipment as leisure centers in the UK. There are no televisions, but the radio plays in the background. Although the Spanish are more open and tend to talk, in the gym they just get down to business like in the UK. Everyone is focused on their body and their machine, and there is little interaction between gym users.

I go in the morning. It tends to be mostly older people, retired men and women in their fifties and sixties. There are some youngsters who look like students’ age. You also get to see the odd thirty-something or two-something mom.

Gym etiquette isn’t too different from the UK, although you do have to be a bit more aggressive as people can be quite inconsiderate. You must bring a towel for hygiene reasons. There is a fifteen minute timer on each team. If you’re not careful or assertive enough, people will take advantage and stay longer, pretending you’re not there.

The same goes for waiting for the team. She must be on her guard as people quickly show up and get on a machine he has been waiting on for ten minutes. Pretending they didn’t see you is his trick. Sometimes I wonder how they can let me down with a lime green top and rear end that could be considered a clog, but they do.

Although I have improved. The first gym session I had lasted almost three hours, two of which were spent waiting for the equipment. I soon realized that I would have to stop being so polite and let people know that I meant business. By the time you’ve experienced a couple of people breathing down your neck or distracting you by sticking your head in your space to check the timer, you’ll simply join the club.

Women are particularly conscientious about cleanliness. In fact, I think they carry some guilt for neglecting their houses while they go to the gym. So while they’re at the gym, they’re always grabbing scraps of paper and detergent to scrub down the equipment. Always make sure you get a woman’s outfit next, as none of the men bother. They probably think that’s why there are women in the gym, to clean up the equipment after them.

As for the changing rooms, there is usually a lot of exposure. If you’re shy, be prepared to be the only one moving around a lot with your towel wrapped around you. I don’t know what happens in the men’s locker rooms but in the women’s there are all kinds of naked bodies floating around. The Spanish are very comfortable with nudity regardless of age or shape.

It’s generally not too different from UK gyms and you get the same stereotypes, including serious bodybuilder types who huff and puff at the same time during the day. I have yet to try the exercise classes, so it should be an experience!