All right, ladies. Time to stop sucking on your stomach.

Take a quick survey. Are you absorbing it right now?

If so, here’s the big question: WHY? (Really, is anyone looking at your stomach right now?)

A few weeks ago, I realized that I had inadvertently engaged in this useless habit once again. I was walking out of breath, keeping my lower abdominal muscles inward throughout the day. Ack! This is a habit that I had a good year breaking, so I was upset to find that it had come back.

It is also a habit that many women share. The myth of the flat stomach has been largely perpetuated in our culture, so it is no wonder that many fitness and fashion gurus advise sucking on the stomach throughout the day. Unfortunately, this habit wreaks havoc on the pelvic floor region and on our normal breathing patterns. Whether you want to find pain relief from vulvodynia, interstitial cystitis, or irritable bowel syndrome, hoping to lose weight, or just trying to feel more satisfied and at peace, this is a habit that needs to go away.

My answer to the big question above is pretty simple. I want my stomach to look flat and I have the misconception that it is supposed to be flat. I have bought the party line, in other words.

As you ponder changing this habit, I imagine you will encounter many different personal thoughts, fears, and judgments. Perfect! All of these are helping and inciting you to perpetuate this useless habit. This is a perfect place to practice your mental work skills. None of these things you’re thinking about is true, and it’s about time we stopped believing the stomach myth.

First of all, stomachs are not designed to be flat. Even in very fit people, there is a beautiful rounded area for the lower abdomen. In people who practice lower abdominal breathing regularly, this rounded lower belly has a muscular appearance. This is because these people have strong respiratory muscles and fully oxygenate their body with each breath. NOTHING decreases pain, tension, and panic faster than deep, lower abdominal breathing.

Hope you see the irony here. People with the dog are actually healthier and happier! You don’t have to stick out your tummy, but you do have to befriend your tummy enough to enjoy a relaxed and loose lower abdomen. (And the models posing for photoshoots are sucking, sure. Don’t let that be your beautiful tummy guide!)

Second, sucking on the stomach means that you are creating tension in the lower abdomen. Tension is not a bad thing, unless it is present all the time. There are times when it is necessary to tighten the lower abdominal muscles, but doing so every minute of the day simply fatigue these muscles and creates imbalances. If you don’t allow your breath to flow in and out of your lower abdomen, you are missing the most useful element of your own breathing patterns. Deep, lower abdominal breathing is the most efficient breathing. (Have you ever seen a baby breathe?) Rapidly oxygenates your body, calms your nervous system, and aids digestion. Helps your mind stop spinning in worry or panic mode. And energize your whole body. All of these elements of lower abdominal breathing help you reduce pain and connect with yourself and your emotions. Which means less overeating, more relaxation, and a calm mind.

When I told my husband that I was unlearning my habit of holding my tummy, he seemed confused. “Do you keep your stomach ALL THE TIME?” I ask. I was amazed. Holding down her stomach had never occurred to her, never. Seriously.

Grabbing your tummy, in the name of beauty, health, or some other reason, just isn’t worth it. This is a cultural ideal to discard so that you can embrace true beauty, which comes from being oxygenated and energized.

In Qigong, the lower part of the abdomen is called Dan Tien or Tan Tien, the “field of the elixir of life”. A flat stomach is considered a bad sign and signals sexual repression / dysfunction and weak life force energy. Holding this area is said to cause muscles to contract and tense, which is reflected in our emotional lives and makes us tense mentally and emotionally. Oh!

I go with a lot of energy in the field of the elixir of life, personally. I choose breath and energy. I choose to love my rounded belly. I choose to allow myself to relax and release my muscles. I’m done being tense. I’m ready to choose my own ideal belly, and it has nothing to do with flatness.

If you’re ready too, let’s join forces and free our stomachs! No more being held hostage to ridiculous external ideals.