A recent study has indicated that fish swimming in the Great Lakes have tested positive for antidepressants! No wonder they are called Excellent Lakes! So what causes depression in fish? Does everyone know that we are going to eat them eventually, after preparing them in our own kitchens (or perhaps a restaurant)? gloomy future. Goal, “Bless us and splash us!”1 I say, instead of keeping them down all day, let them feel good about themselves while swimming. Also, think about the savings of eating the spiked fish. You won’t have to pay your copay for your own supply, you can get it for free along with a good dose of Omega-3.

Which brings us to preparing those flaky things. Although I’ve been freely giving advice for the last twenty-five years and have designed many award-winning kitchens, honestly, I’m not much into the kitchen department. To be politically correct, my wife refers to me as a domestic problem. However, even if I lack the use of a kitchen for its main function, I know how to design it so that others can. We can thank the Pratt Institute and the NKBA for that.

I can’t think of anything that would make these poor fish happier than being prepared in a newly renovated kitchen. Fortunately, there are many qualified kitchen designers in the area who can create a kitchen that is both functional and aesthetically pleasing to both people and fish. Designs that now not only include a kitchen area, but also a dining area, a meeting area and a homework area.

Most successful kitchen designers charge for their initial work, however their rates and pricing structures vary widely. I know of companies that charge $100 to $1,000 or more for this service. This amount can usually be applied to the purchase of cabinets and I would not recommend hiring a company that does not adhere to that policy. After all, good design takes a lot of time, effort, and creativity, so why should they give it away? Remember, you get what you pay for.

It could be argued that if you don’t like the design and/or estimate, you’ve wasted your money. I don’t entirely disagree with this, which is why I recommend finding a company with a minimal upfront design fee. This less expense certainly doesn’t compensate the designer for all the time he must spend creating his dream kitchen, but it does show a commitment on his part, indicating that he is serious about the project.

Some companies have a phased design fee, which includes a low initial design charge. If after reviewing the design, you want to proceed with the project, they have a secondary fee (sometimes called a retainer) for additional work on the design or to deliver the drawings to you. This appears to be a fair compromise. The designer charges a nominal fee, trusting you to create an exciting design, within the budget you specify. You have the opportunity to review the design and see how much the renovation will cost, before spending a lot of money.

I say we leave the Great Lakes as they are. And, while fishing can be fun for some, since I don’t like touching fish (or worms), I suggest you buy these medicated wonders at the seafood store. Just be sure to eat some before the build starts and everything will seem a lot less stressful.

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1 Gollum (Smeagol), in Tolkien, JRR “The Lord of the rings”. Allen & Unwin, London 1966.