What is the difference between love, lust, infatuation and infatuation?

Personally, I feel like I have all of these for one person: my wife. I am a church pastor counseling many couples, married and dating, and I have found that the most successful relationships have all of these elements. My wife loves that I am in love with her, that I am infatuated with her, that I want her and that I love her deeply.

But there are differences.


Love is not an emotion. It is not a warm fuzzy feeling that you have. Your ability to love is based on you, not on anyone else. I love who I am. My wife doesn’t have to earn my love. She doesn’t have to keep it either. If I stop loving my wife, it shows a problem with me, not with her.

Love is the self-sacrificing placing of another person ahead of your own needs, wants, and desires. When you can give your life, so to speak, for another person, you will understand love.

The Bible says that there is no greater love than when you lay down your life for your friends.


Lust is the absolute selfish desire to satisfy a physical or emotional need or desire. Relationships based on this and nothing else always end and most of the time they end badly.

God created us to have physical urges, wants, and needs. These in and of themselves are not wrong or wrong. But when we give in to them and create a relationship exclusively around them, they can be destructive and harmful.

It is one of the reasons I recommend, preach, and can prove from the Bible that a couple should wait for marriage before having sex. First, meet someone mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Lust can overwhelm and dominate a relationship and when lust is the main factor, I have never seen a successful or meaningful relationship.


Falling in love is often a mental obsession. This is a person who will daydream, create fantasies, and, if married, commit mental adultery. This person may never act on their fantasies, but most of the time they create an unrealistic impression of the person you are fantasizing about.

Many people find that what they imagined the other person to be was not the real truth of that person. They can lose interest very quickly. Many people, who have fallen in love with others, never get very, very close. Once the person is compared to their fantasy, they become disillusioned and disillusioned.

Now if you can fall in love with someone you know very well, especially if you are married to him or her, this can only strengthen your relationship. I have fantasies of my wife when we split up. How can that be a bad thing? I am in love with her!


Possibly, a crush is simply the attraction that one person feels for another person. Most relationships start with some kind of attraction. You see someone you like or you see things about a person that you like and are attracted to them. Many mistake this for love, but attraction is a powerful force.

Often, we consider that a crush comes from a person who is attracted to someone who does not want or cannot have a reciprocal attraction. It would be like a boy who is attracted to his married teacher, or a girl attracted to a boy who is already dating another girl or at least not interested in her.

A crush can be cute or dangerous. They are known to lead to problems and we often dismiss them as temporary emotional outbursts. But that is not always wise.

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