Any parent, or even adults who spend time with children, would do well to read Barbara C. Murray’s new book Taking Back Parenting. In concise and thoughtful discussions, Barbara covers a wide range of topics that parents need to be concerned about with their children, from how to teach and communicate with their children, to creating a safe environment for them, to how to maintain your relationship with your spouse, and even how to discuss issues. difficult with your children, such as sexuality and pornography.
From the very first page of this book, I knew that Barbara was a true mother. Yes, she has a degree and she’s a clinical social worker, but obviously she’s a mother first, and almost every example she gives in the book is based on her own experience as a mother. Other examples are based on her experiences helping clients better raise their own children and what worked and didn’t work for them.
What I liked most about this book is that Barbara makes parents aware of certain issues to focus on with their children. She asks the parents what they have actually taught their children and explains where there has been a breakdown in communication. For example, she tells the story of two parents who came to her for help because they had problems with her son having sex with other children; she explained that telling her son not to do it would not solve the problem without explaining why not; the parents needed to have a conversation with him about what it means to be on the moon, which body parts are private, and why such behavior is inappropriate. Much of Barbara’s research for this book was based on asking parents what their children had been taught, and when she asked questions such as whether they had had conversations with their children about values or religion, she mostly got blank stars. . I think the strongest point that she makes in this regard is about sexuality. She points out that it’s not enough to just have “the talk” with the kids; it is necessary to introduce the topic of sexuality at an early age, even from infancy or toddler age, identifying body parts while bathing a child and then as children get older, talking about the body and what to expect at puberty. , and what to do when difficult situations arise, such as dealing with pornography.
Barbara is a member of the LDS Church, which influences her beliefs and her suggestions for parents, but never interferes with common sense or major discussion topics, so non-believers will benefit from this practical advice. book and may overlook information that does not interest them. You don’t find it useful or may disagree with. Most of the information that has a spiritual tone is about the value of family and the importance of maintaining strong family relationships. In that sense, Barbara is an advocate for spouses to spend quality time together alone to maintain their relationship and also spend individual time with the children. In the end, she provides a portrait of a healthy and happy spiritually aware family.
In addition to the general discussions of the book, Barbara offers exercises at the end of each chapter to help parents put what they have learned into practice. She gives lists of topics to discuss with children at family gathering nights where parents spend time teaching children about a wide range of topics, including how to write a letter, the importance of being on time, eating healthy foods, fire safety and banking operations. She challenges parents to think about what their own beliefs are on many topics so they can teach their children. She also provides a Parenting Creed at the end of the book and a list of other books and websites as additional resources.
The bottom line is that this book offers very practical examples of how you can better communicate with your children. Yes, they will take a bit of time to implement, but they will save you a lot of trouble in later years. All parenting problems basically come down to a failure in communication between parent and child. Barbara teaches how to open the lines of communication at an early age when children are receptive so that when they are older they stay out of trouble. The reward of reading and implementing the Take Back Parenting tips will be a happy family. You just have to invest the time to reap the rewards.
