There is good news and some bad news when someone is looking to start saving a marriage after infidelity.
It’s that no matter how screwed up the relationship is, it can be fixed, if you want it bad enough.
If there has been forgiveness during the recovery from the affair and both husband and wife are fully committed to doing whatever it takes to make it work, then after an affair things can get better.
Both parties must understand and accept that it will take time and work, and that they must be fully mature in confessing some of their own shortcomings.
As you read, keep in mind that the Course in Miracles teaches: “Healing is a sign that you want to be whole. And this will open your ears to the Voice of the Holy Spirit, whose message is wholeness.”
If you’re both in that place and really want the recovery from the affair to be a positive one, you have an excellent chance of working things out.
Are there overwhelming problems on the way?
The problem with saving a marriage after infidelity is that if the issues are too overwhelming and/or both of you are unwilling to put in the work and discover healing options, the chances of repairing a relationship after infidelity diminish.
– It’s not impossible at this point, but it will be much more difficult.
The first step would be to honestly assess where you and your partner are from time to time and where exactly you are headed.
If you’re both in the right mindset and mature enough to face worries and hold your ground long enough, then do something stern. searching souls and determine.
You will need to seriously consider whether you should seek help and healing through marital therapy or some form of relationship counseling.
If so, – Proceed to the next step.
If not, ask yourself why you want to save a marriage after infidelity. Often there are times when there is no hope of even beginning to mend a broken relationship.
It can be extremely easy to fall into the trap of becoming a doormat if your goal is to start building trust after infidelity without the help of your spouse.
I mean if the spouse feels the grief is so terribly hard to handle, they won’t work with you to start the affair recovery.
They could also almost certainly try to sabotage all the hard work you try to do to rebuild trust after cheating.
What are the problems?
In a previous conversation, I explored infidelity in marriage and how to survive an affair: is leaving a relationship the answer, or should you stay?
The next step would be to find out what other issues and issues you are both facing, and exactly what action steps to take to even start saving a marriage after infidelity.
– Does it seem like both of you have simply drifted too far?
– Do you have children now and find it more difficult to really connect with each other?
When you recognize what the problems you really have are, then you have a much better chance of dealing with them effectively and staying married after infidelity.
– Don’t let life and all its stress and anxiety try to come between you.
This is usually not the real problem most of the time, anyway, and it works well as an excuse for bad habits.
– Determine the genuine problems and then collaborate in the help on how to survive infidelity.
Often finding someone to help you heal, instruct and guide you, helping you figure it all out, can be a miracle.
Finding a therapist or marital counselor can help.
At the very least, a therapist can function as a sort of referee so that the two of you don’t get too upset and start arguing out of control and saying things you’ll later regret.
– If the fighting continues, – Nothing will ever be resolved.
– You can’t fix anything until you find out exactly what’s broken.
There is no difference between a broken ratio and a worn transmission in your car, meaning if you don’t identify what the problem is, you can’t repair and rebuild your post-cheat ratio.
Sometimes there is not enough willingness and willingness to rebuild trust after infidelity to give enough reason to save a relationship.
If you don’t diagnose exactly what the problem is, you can’t even begin to save a marriage after infidelity.
(I also suggest searching the web for more helpful content on the idea of getting back together with your ex and safe ways to rekindle a relationship, if that’s in your heart.)
